Your past Fourth of July parties have not been patriotic enough. Sure, grilling hot dogs and lighting off fireworks in the backyard is always a good time, but does it really show how much you truly love the US of A? It doesn't. And that's why this year your goal is to throw the most patriotic Fourth of July party your neighborhood has ever seen.
Bacon American Flag Pizza
Though pizza is technically an Italian dish, we eat it so much in the States that it is an adopted American cuisine. And to make it even more American, why not make it into an edible American flag covered in bacon?
Photo: Indulgent Eats
You can redecorate a frozen pizza (hint: Digornio has the perfect shape) or go the homemade route. Pre-cook the bacon you will use as the flag's stripes and prep two ounces of fresh mozzarella by cutting them into star-shapes. Once the pizza is cooked and out of the oven place blue tortilla chips in the upper left-hand corner, decorating the flag with your mozz stars. Finally, drape those sizzling slabs of bacon across the pizza, take one step back, and salute Old Glory.
Red, White, and Blue Dress Code
Americans use violence (via pinching) to enforce an all-green dress code for St. Patricks Day, why not do the same for America's birthday? Make sure all of your guests are honoring Old Glory by strictly upholding an All-American dress code.
Provide some alternatives for your more forgetful guests. You can stock up on American flag shirts from Walmart (we recommend outrageously large sizes) or save some money, and double down on the humiliation, by wrapping your un-American guests in patriotic party decorations. Start by wrapping them up with a crepe streamer in the color(s) of your choice, then tape a few party favors on for good measure. By the end they'll look like an appetizing blend of American pride.
Don't think a comical costume is humiliating enough? Even more fun than playing dress-up is mixing in some physical punishment. So your neighbor thinks he's too cool to play along with the dress code? Show him how real Americans party and delegate him to the Dunk Tank and let your costume-abiding guests give him the soaking he so deserves!
All American Bounce Houses
Honor your inner eagle at your Fourth of July party by soaring in one of the All American Bounce Houses from Space Walk. The Patriotic Jump inspires as the banner at its entrance reads, "United We Stand." Our other All American Bounce model also features an eagle perched at the entrance's center, inviting all your party guests to sail with it through the skies, overlooking the Great Plains where the buffalo lay.
But it is the incorporation of the Mega Twist that will tell the word that your Fourth of July party is the most patriotic one of all. This 22' behemoth features two slides, which twist all the way to the ground.
Once the day winds down, finish off your maximum American party by lighting off a few fireworks. Remember: it's okay to shed a tear.